Projection

In my work with domestic violence and other relationship difficulties, I have found that my clients commonly described behaviour from others that fitted into the realm of projection – a common ego defence-mechanism. It was also common for these clients to express confusion about this behaviour and its impact, but to leave with clearer heads once the behaviour had been named as projection and the nature of projection had been explained to them.

What is projection?

It is one of the commonly used ego defence-mechanisms that is employed by some people when their anxiety levels are too high, and they subconsciously choose to not own parts of themselves that they fear, dislike or can’t accept. They then accuse another person of being these things (i.e. project onto another person). However, this occurs with the person projecting believing that the other person really is like this, and having no insight into their own issues.

It is commonly used in emotional abuse.

More information can be found in the following link:

http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/coping/projection.htm

How it feels to be projected upon

It can leave people feeling confused and wondering if they really are, or have done, the things that are being projected onto them.

It can also leave them feeling depressed, discouraged, worried, anxious, stressed, harassed, edgy, alone, ducking for cover and/ or doubting themselves.

A metaphor

I have found that a useful, but old, metaphor to use is that of an old film projector beaming onto a screen, with the person projecting being the “projector” and the receiver being the “screen”. The “projector” owns the light, and it comes from inside that person, but instead of owning the “light” they beam it onto someone else. If the receiver pictures themselves as the “screen” then they can consider ways of moving their “screen” away from the “projector” so they don’t keep receiving their “light”.

Perhaps for those too young for this metaphor to have any meaning, the metaphor of a torch could be used instead.

Ways to deal with projection

The women in the Women’s Support Group that I facilitated had the following ideas about dealing with projection (and I think it is worth sharing their wisdom):

• Recognise when projection is occurring
• Step back from the focus (the image will then be blurry)
• Roll up the “screen” or move it out of the “light”
• Put up a protective wall (metaphorically)
• Ignore them/ be deaf and/or walk away
• Laugh at it
• Know we are not to blame
• Talk it out with someone we trust
• Use confidence and belief in ourselves
• Use a mental image exercise of our confused thoughts settling like sand on the bottom of the ocean floor, until the water is calm and clear.

Remember: we can learn a lot from our clients.