Harnessing free floating worry

Over the years I have had a number of clients who have presented feeling anxious about how they will cope with a future event, whether this be a medical procedure, a family occasion (difficult or otherwise), a job interview or some other happening.

One useful tool

A tool that I have often used is to draw a stick figure, representing the client, a box representing the event, and then lots of lines radiating out from the client to represent all the fears they have about the myriad of possibilities that are filling their minds with anxiety. This looks something like: 

I then explain that all the lines are wasted energy as, when they get to the event, there will be only one way through it (and it probably won't be any of the ways imagined). They could also be encouraged to consider the expected benefits of the event (if appropriate).

This can be like blowing on a dandelion and then trying to chase all the dispersed seed heads at once, instead of hanging onto the stem and focusing on it's strength.

Making action plans for worst case scenarios

This is another useful tool. Ask the client to imagine the worst case scenario and then discuss what action they could take if this happened. Encourage them to concentrate on the action plan rather than the free floating worries when they begin to feel anxious.

Circle of influence and circle of concern

How to use this tool:

1. Think about the things that play on your mind as worries.
2. In the circle of concern, write down the things that you cannot change.
3. In the circle of influence, write down the things that you can do something about, deciding if you can take immediate action on these or whether action needs to wait for some time in the future.
4. Work on accepting that you cannot change the things you have placed in the circle of concern, instead of continuing to use energy on trying to change these things.

For example: you might place someone else's behaviour in the circle of concern, but write how you choose to live with it, accepting that you cannot change it,  in the circle of influence.

The real challenge for me is remembering to use these tools in my own life!

P.S. It is not a good idea to pick bull-rushes and put them in a vase on the mantel piece. The results of what happens when they begin to shed is shown as the photo of my daughter above (many years ago).