Getting through January

In Australia January is the month when heat takes over, a lot of usual activities and businesses take a break, the hectic pace of Christmas is over and the children are on a long school break. Some of my clients in the past would report that this time of the year was difficult to endure and they felt lonely and isolated.

But there are some things that can help us to survive this month, and some opportunities that can be taken up in this less busy time.

Cultivate being

Life needs to be a balance between being and doing, and this month provides an opportunity to build more times of “being” into our lives before “doing” takes over again. One of the best ways of “being” is mindfulness, and I have found two good resources to assist with this.

Sarah Rudell Beach of “Left Brain Buddha” offers a blog and free (as well as paid) courses on Mindfulness. Her style is relaxed, realistic and non-dogmatic and she is very generous in sharing resources. Left Brain Buddha can be accessed at:

https://leftbrainbuddha.com/

Insight Timer is a website or App that offers thousands of free guided meditations (including some Christian ones, for those who are seeking these), and can be found at:

https://insighttimer.com

Expand your mind

This month is a good time to do some reading (borrow books from the local Library) and/ or to learn a new skill (there are many opportunities on the internet and these can be sourced by doing a simple google search).

Find creative things to do

There is time now to be spent on following creative interests and hobbies, by either starting new projects or finding unfinished ones that may have been relegated to the cupboard. This can result in a sense of achievement and possibly a chance to build up a store of gifts to give to others throughout the year (or even to prepare for next Christmas). Small projects, that are not too hot to work on, can use up left-over materials from other projects.

Take time to do some organising

Planning for the year ahead can be as simple as writing reminders on a calendar or in a diary, or more in depth. Rhonda Hetzel on her “Down to Earth” blog  wrote some good ideas on this topic this time last year, and these can be accessed here:

https://down---to---earth.blogspot.com/2018/01/january-thinking-about-year-ahead-and.html

Informal gatherings

Whilst taking a break from formal groups, take advantage of opportunities for informal gatherings, by inviting friends over, arranging spontaneous coffee mornings, meeting friends for lunch, and generally doing the socialising that it can be difficult to find time for during the rest of the year.

Remember: During January we have the gift of time.

When life creates the perfect storm

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed by challenges, reactions, disappointments, reminders of traumas etc. that we feel like we are drowning. At these times I find the metaphor of the perfect storm to be helpful, as it describes the situation perfectly, but allows us to step back from it with a metaphor.

 I am not talking about current experiences of grief and trauma here (they are more like being caught up in a cyclone), but when a series of things that we could normally handle on their own, all come together one after the other before we have a chance to recover from the first one.

When we feel like we are drowning

During the “storm”, waves wash over us, and just when we come up for air, another wave often hits. These waves represent the reactions we have to the challenges, traumas, disappointments etc. and they often come in sets, allowing us little time to recover before being swamped by another. Once we are battered, even the small waves can cause hurt.  At these times we might just need to let ourselves react and understand why we are feeling this way. This is a time of survival and offloading.

What are our anchors

There may be people and/ or strategies that act as anchors for us during the “storm”, so that we are not completely washed away by it. We may use these consciously, or find that on reflection later, we can recognise their existence.

Islands of refuge/ respite

Be aware of opportunities (however short) for time out from the “storm”, even when it is not yet over. Life is a mixture of experiences and offers good moments here and there, even when we are feeling overwhelmed by challenges and difficulties.

Storms eventually ease

We have not reached the shore until the effects of the “storm” have eased and we begin to feel safer. But it is helpful to remember that even perfect storms do not last forever and eventually will pass, leaving us to recover and begin to look ahead again.

Afterwards

We need to be kind and compassionate with ourselves once we reach the shore, as we will still be bruised and battered. This is a time for comfort, for allowing ourselves to externalise reactions and for engaging in some self-care.

There are two useful questions to reflect on once we have reached the shore and begin to recover, and these are:

• What have we learnt from the storm?
• What clouds were gathering before the storm hit? (Signs that it might be coming).

Remember: God won't take it away, but God will give you the peace to get through it (Touched by an Angel DVD)