My journey into retirement -- one year on

The past year has been one of adjustment to major lifestyle change, and, when I speak to others who have retired, they have said that it has taken them at least a year to adjust too. This is something that is not addressed in preparation for retirement and, as it is a common experience, I think it is sad that it is not acknowledged and normalised, so that we are not left feeling inadequate.

So, my personal adjustment had been around the following:

Recreating a new life

I have found that it is not possible to step straight from a life of working full-time to living the life of a retired citizen. My work life and its associated systemic trauma impacted for some time and I was surprised to find how much the feelings of trauma reappeared at the anniversary of my leaving. Initially I coped with this by engaging frantically in cleaning and de cluttering inside, before tackling the garden once the weather cooled.

However, over the ensuing months I have gradually settled and slowly introduced other activities like cooking from scratch and preserving the garden harvest, sewing and engaging in craft activities (things I had already being doing during my working life, but now with the time to engage in them more fully). I have become very interested in the concept of slow living, and I also involved myself in the activities outlined below.

Rebuilding a social life

Other retirees I have spoken to have indicated that they have not been back to their former workplaces, and I found that this was the same for me. However I also realised that the hectic world of full-time work had left little time for socialising and that I would need to build a new social network –but I needed to give myself many months to do some healing first. I found that It is not wise to throw yourself straight into new social networks when you have been burnt by the journey and trust is shaken. Thus I have chosen not to engage in volunteer work.

My husband and I joined the National Trust and were delighted to find, unexpectedly, that this gave us access to a local branch that has interesting meetings and excursions and a whole new range of people to meet. We have become more involved with our Church family, now having the time to stay and chat over morning tea instead of dashing off to get the groceries (the hazards of working full-time). And we have joined the Evening Adult Fellowship Group. I have also re-connected with cousins and sometimes lunched with Social Work colleagues.

Time with adult children and grandchildren is extra special.

Creating a balance of activities

Initially I found that I would over-indulge in one activity, especially when I first took it up again. However my days have evolved into doing a little of each as the mood takes me. I now try to declutter one or two things a day a shelf at a time, rather than engaging in a frenzy of cleaning activity – and the housework gets done as it is needed. Cooking fits in around this.

I have located unfinished patchwork projects and put them into a basket to gradually work through, leaving the hand-sewing (to alternate with knitting) for when I am watching a DVD (River Cottage and the Leyland Brothers are favourites). However I have also taken on some new projects just to keep interest and variety alive.

In the cooler weather I try to spend at least half an hour in the garden each morning, but over summer this activity has been mainly confined to watering and harvesting. This is such a peaceful and therapeutic way to begin activities for the day.

I am nurturing my spiritual life by reading the Bible right through from the beginning to the end, one or two chapters a day. It is so enlightening to read the original stories rather than relying on the old Sunday School versions that I was fed in childhood. I am also doing a lot of other reading and have re-joined the local library.

I find that my life is now full and busy, but no longer frantic.

Keeping my brain active

I am acutely aware of the importance of brain health as we, each week, lose more and more of my 98 year old father-in-law from dementia and physical incapacity – this is such a sad and painful journey to walk for all of us.

Some of the regular activities I have engaged in include:

• doing the daily crossword on the Seniors Website

http://www.seniorscard.nsw.gov.au/community/online-games/crossword

• doing a jigsaw puzzle daily from a computer program (no pieces to lose and no cleaning up afterwards)
• listening to the midday interview with Margaret Throsby on ABC Classic FM (she has such an interesting variety of people from many backgrounds and professions).

http://www.abc.net.au/classic/program/midday/

• learning new skills by doing on-line courses from the Craftsy website (a large variety from patchwork to knitting to cake decorating to photography to gardening and more – and a number are free)

http://www.craftsy.com/classes

• reading a variety of literature and watching documentaries  – there is so much to learn about our world
• writing posts on this blog

Tapping into a wider world

In the past year we have done less travel than I anticipated, but in retrospect I think it was good to stay in a safe place and process, recover and adjust rather than to run away and then have to come home and face this later on.

However we do plan to get out there more this coming year, exploring new places and connecting more with old ones.

I am looking forward to the next 12 months of “freedom to”.