Some thoughts on creativity and healing

I have always been interested in how being creative can be used as a tool for healing, having experienced the benefit myself and observed this in others. Using our hands to make something can allow us to move little steps forward in our lives when words are inadequate and the pain of loss is too deep to process.

The value of being creative

At other times being creative can help to reduce stress, give life satisfaction and meaning and empower us to increase our overall well-being. It can also increase our sense of confidence and self-acceptance, our sense of achievement and our personal strengths. We re-focus to the here and now, distracting from unhelpful thoughts and feelings of pain, and our brains are stimulated.

Using creativity in a group setting

In the later stages of the Women’s Support Group that I facilitated, every second session became a time of creatively making something with our hands – often cards based on a set template, or other crafts chosen by the group members. I was mindful of not encouraging anyone into activities with which they were uncomfortable, so it was important to allow the members to be an active part of the planning process.

Over time I noticed the development of increased confidence and creative thoughts in the ladies, and enthusiasm to engage in new learning. This was a great outcome for women who had experienced the debilitating effects of domestic violence in their lives.

Extending the experience

Sometimes I would encourage the ladies to apply what they were creating to a metaphor for their lives (thus extending creative thought processes). For example, when we made a folder for storing various types of cards, we brainstormed how we could organise our lives.

Some great resources

I have come across two wonderful books that promote the therapeutic value of creativity:

1. Hope Make Heal by Maya Pagan Donenfeld

This is a book about how to channel the powerful flood of emotions following traumatic events into things that can be seen and touched. It contains four sections – Wounded, Synchronicity, Healing and Reinvention, and each section includes things to make that are directly connected to healing, a guided meditation and some helpful introductory thoughts.

For more information:
http://mayamade.blogspot.com.au/p/my-book.html

2. Craft for the soul: how to get the most out of your creative life by Pip Lincolne

This is an enthusiastic step by step guide to “having nice times” by building our own creativity and engaging in other acts of self-care. Pip encourages us to try new things, be ourselves, build more movement into our days and cultivate friendships, and gives lists of ideas of things to try in each of these areas.

For more information:
http://meetmeatmikes.com/buy-craft-for-the-soul/

I hope you can find more time for creativity in your life.

A tribute to my father-in-law

My father-in-law passed away on Saturday, and I would like to devote this post to him. 

 Dear Nat

I will really miss you but am thankful that you have found freedom again as I know you hated being restricted to the dementia unit you were in, and it was sad to progressively lose more and more connection with you as your mind and body began to fail you.

Throughout the years I have been married to your son you have been like a real father to me, and I thank you for your understanding, interest and caring.

I have loved the great discussions we have been able to share and appreciate your wisdom and knowledge.

I have been inspired by the way you lived out your faith (including over 60 years as a lay preacher), and will always remember how you clung to the commandment to love your neighbour even when your mind began to fail.

You have done so much in your life of 98 years: as a farmer and grazier, as a leader in the agricultural industry, as a member of the Upper House of NSW State Parliament, as an avid traveller in Australia and travelling overseas (and escaping to Iluka in winter for many years), as a fisherman and as an active member of the local community. And there are many more things that I have only heard about.

You loved your family and made each member feel special and loved for themselves, and you took great interest in all our lives. You were a devoted husband, father, father-in-law, grandfather and great grandfather – and uncle, brother and cousin and friend. And you were much respected by us all.

Thank you for being my father-in-law. It has been a real privilege to have you in my life all these years.

My journey into retirement -- one year on

The past year has been one of adjustment to major lifestyle change, and, when I speak to others who have retired, they have said that it has taken them at least a year to adjust too. This is something that is not addressed in preparation for retirement and, as it is a common experience, I think it is sad that it is not acknowledged and normalised, so that we are not left feeling inadequate.

So, my personal adjustment had been around the following:

Recreating a new life

I have found that it is not possible to step straight from a life of working full-time to living the life of a retired citizen. My work life and its associated systemic trauma impacted for some time and I was surprised to find how much the feelings of trauma reappeared at the anniversary of my leaving. Initially I coped with this by engaging frantically in cleaning and de cluttering inside, before tackling the garden once the weather cooled.

However, over the ensuing months I have gradually settled and slowly introduced other activities like cooking from scratch and preserving the garden harvest, sewing and engaging in craft activities (things I had already being doing during my working life, but now with the time to engage in them more fully). I have become very interested in the concept of slow living, and I also involved myself in the activities outlined below.

Rebuilding a social life

Other retirees I have spoken to have indicated that they have not been back to their former workplaces, and I found that this was the same for me. However I also realised that the hectic world of full-time work had left little time for socialising and that I would need to build a new social network –but I needed to give myself many months to do some healing first. I found that It is not wise to throw yourself straight into new social networks when you have been burnt by the journey and trust is shaken. Thus I have chosen not to engage in volunteer work.

My husband and I joined the National Trust and were delighted to find, unexpectedly, that this gave us access to a local branch that has interesting meetings and excursions and a whole new range of people to meet. We have become more involved with our Church family, now having the time to stay and chat over morning tea instead of dashing off to get the groceries (the hazards of working full-time). And we have joined the Evening Adult Fellowship Group. I have also re-connected with cousins and sometimes lunched with Social Work colleagues.

Time with adult children and grandchildren is extra special.

Creating a balance of activities

Initially I found that I would over-indulge in one activity, especially when I first took it up again. However my days have evolved into doing a little of each as the mood takes me. I now try to declutter one or two things a day a shelf at a time, rather than engaging in a frenzy of cleaning activity – and the housework gets done as it is needed. Cooking fits in around this.

I have located unfinished patchwork projects and put them into a basket to gradually work through, leaving the hand-sewing (to alternate with knitting) for when I am watching a DVD (River Cottage and the Leyland Brothers are favourites). However I have also taken on some new projects just to keep interest and variety alive.

In the cooler weather I try to spend at least half an hour in the garden each morning, but over summer this activity has been mainly confined to watering and harvesting. This is such a peaceful and therapeutic way to begin activities for the day.

I am nurturing my spiritual life by reading the Bible right through from the beginning to the end, one or two chapters a day. It is so enlightening to read the original stories rather than relying on the old Sunday School versions that I was fed in childhood. I am also doing a lot of other reading and have re-joined the local library.

I find that my life is now full and busy, but no longer frantic.

Keeping my brain active

I am acutely aware of the importance of brain health as we, each week, lose more and more of my 98 year old father-in-law from dementia and physical incapacity – this is such a sad and painful journey to walk for all of us.

Some of the regular activities I have engaged in include:

• doing the daily crossword on the Seniors Website

http://www.seniorscard.nsw.gov.au/community/online-games/crossword

• doing a jigsaw puzzle daily from a computer program (no pieces to lose and no cleaning up afterwards)
• listening to the midday interview with Margaret Throsby on ABC Classic FM (she has such an interesting variety of people from many backgrounds and professions).

http://www.abc.net.au/classic/program/midday/

• learning new skills by doing on-line courses from the Craftsy website (a large variety from patchwork to knitting to cake decorating to photography to gardening and more – and a number are free)

http://www.craftsy.com/classes

• reading a variety of literature and watching documentaries  – there is so much to learn about our world
• writing posts on this blog

Tapping into a wider world

In the past year we have done less travel than I anticipated, but in retrospect I think it was good to stay in a safe place and process, recover and adjust rather than to run away and then have to come home and face this later on.

However we do plan to get out there more this coming year, exploring new places and connecting more with old ones.

I am looking forward to the next 12 months of “freedom to”.