Reflections of a Rural Social Worker: My journey into retirement

It has been just over 1 month since my last day at work and I thought I would share some thoughts about the process so far. It did take a lot of courage to make the final decision against the tide of "what ifs" and unknowns about the future.

I have lived in "The losses and gains through change" (see this Post in April 2015) and in "Freedom from and freedom to" (see the Post on "Freedom" in February 2015).

Canola in flower in the front paddock

Losses

I was surprised to find that following the final farewell dinner, two weeks after I had finished work, I was unexpectedly overcome with a sense of loss. The next day I felt overwhelmed with sadness and I think this was because at this point I had finally walked into the change, and had time to stop and let my reactions catch up with me.

During my leave I had merely paddled in change and had not properly stepped into it. And the two major things I had not faced when on leave were the finality of ending a career, and cutting myself off from a good source of income. Now I was entering a new life stage -- the one that is seen as the least desirable by western society.

However I have also lost the yearning to regularly pack up the caravan and run away. The photos accompanying this post may partially explain why.

Early morning in the tree paddock next to the house

The passing of eras

I have lived and worked through a number of significant eras in Community Health. My first position as a new graduate was at Liverpool Community Health Centre in Sydney when Community Health was in its infancy during the Whitlam era, and sadly I have been witnessing its gradual demise (in terms of counselling services) in recent years.

Almost 40 years ago I was the first Community Health Social Worker in the town near which I live, and a Community Nurse and myself shared the kitchen of the local Baby Health Centre as our office. Back then we were employed as Commonwealth Public servants and were allowed to take our work cars home (and working hours were 9 am to 5 pm with an hour for lunch).

25 years ago when I returned to full-time work, Community Health had been moved to NSW Health and the numbers of staff employed had grown significantly. A few years later a new Community Health Centre was built in the grounds of the hospital and I used the same office there from then until I retired. However a new hospital and health service complex is being constructed on the southern edge of town, and staff will move into the new Ambulatory Care wing, where there will be work stations instead of offices, and the title "Community Health" will be lost. This major change was a large influence in prompting my decision to retire.

All of this adds to the poignancy of my sense of loss.

Sunset across a paddock

Terminology

I had never stopped and noticed the interesting terminology that is used when one is leaving a workplace. Words that are used include “severance” and “termination”, giving the impression of being hacked off and gotten rid of, whilst one is playing a waiting game re: final payouts of leave, final payments into Superannuation funds (this is an interesting one since Super Pension Funds now need to be activated) and the accompanying paperwork. It is like dangling on a thread whilst being severed from the branch of a tree, and it prolongs the process of gaining freedom from.

This is in contrast to the message on my NSW Senior's card, which says: The holder is a valued member of our community. Please extend every courtesy and assistance.

The view from our front verandah

Gains

The main gains have been flexibility, feeling less exhausted and being more available to spend time with people, like cousins passing through, attending gatherings and having grandchildren to stay. My 5 year old granddaughter, not understanding the term “retired” said that Gran has left work because she is “too tired” and now “she can stay home and play with me all day”. It is so freeing being able to make appointments any time and to have space around these to do other things.

I have begun to re-engage in hobbies and interests and have spent a lot of time clearing the jungle in the garden and designing a vegetable patch with raised beds. I also enjoy being able to read in bed first thing and arise feeling rested. I am slowly edging back into “freedom to”.

I have discovered that my evenings and weekends have remained much the same (the times when I was not at work), although weekends are now much less busy as I no longer need to do the washing and other housework on Saturday, or cook meals for the week.

So that is how it has been so far -- an interesting journey!