Murphy's Law

I cannot let Mad March go by without mentioning Murphy’s Law – commonly used to blame anything that goes wrong.

What Murphy’s Law really means

Although similar sentiments have been expressed right back to the 1800s, the name Murphy’s Law  arises from physics and is attributed to Edward Murphy who reputedly, in the 1950s, developed new measurement devices that failed to perform, and then said something like “If there’s more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then he will do it that way”. However there is some debate about its origins and, over time, it has come to mean that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, or to quote Colonel Stapp (who supposedly first publicly coined the phrase) “Everything that can possibly go wrong will go wrong”.

Murphy in the workplace

In my workplace I would blame Murphy when:

• I would put extra preparation into a client session and they would subsequently fail to attend.
• I had spent many hours preparing a group session or talk and it was cancelled at the last minute.
• I would drag myself into work when feeling unwell, as I was concerned about a particular client, and then they would be a no show.
• The computer was down on the last day that statistics were due.
• The printer would not work when I needed to copy handouts for a session later that day.
• Clients urgently begged for appointments and then did not present .

On what occasions would you like to blame Murphy’s Law?

The usefulness of Murphy’s Law

Metaphorically blaming Murphy can inject humour and take the sting out of an otherwise stressful situation. There is a Murphy’s Law café in Darwin which could result in an interesting dining experience (I chose not to test it out) and the term is often used in a humorous context.

It also reminds us that life is full of unpredictability and that we need to allow for things to not go as planned.

But, of course, when I went to add this post, the internet was down and my husband had to use his phone to create a hot spot!

And then there is Yhprum’s Law, which is that:”anything that can go right will go right” and is Murphy’s Law in reverse. 

A journey to the southernmost tip of Australia (a metaphor for "rock bottom")

Come along on another armchair travel adventure where we will stretch our legs for a total of 15.4 kms (and the first 7.7 kms of the South Coast Track).

Our trek begins at Cockle Creek in Tasmania – the furthest south that we can drive by road. We commence our walk by following  the side of a spur along a rocky, muddy track (with occasional bridges and short sections of board walk), and through forest under-storied by Spear grass. Here we try to avoid stepping in the patches of black mud.

We descend to a series of Button Grass plains and then walk along kilometres of wooden board walks as we cross them. Here we can see La Perouse Peak and another unidentified snow streaked peak behind it, when it appears between the racing clouds (it is winter – which means that we don’t need to worry about encountering any Tiger Snakes).

Finally we reach the World Heritage Area and follow a fern-lined creek set in a rainforest which, to our tired feet, seems to go on forever.

Then we emerge quite suddenly onto a huge black sloping rock platform edged with eroding cliffs and amazing views to South East Cape on one side, and further around the remote rugged wilderness coast to the west. The wild ocean casts waves onto the rocky shore way below us to our west, and the whole desolate scene gives an impression of what “rock bottom” might feel like (and creates a huge adrenalin rush).

After a rest, and exploration (we find a makeshift sign proclaiming that we are at the southernmost tip of Australia, even although technically the inaccessible South-East Cape is – but we do have views of this Cape from our rock platform) and some refreshment, we use the adrenalin rush for energy to begin the 7.7 km trek back along the way we have come. Like-wise, when we hit “rock bottom” the only place we can go is up.

As we drive back north from Cockle Creek we can finally rest our weary legs and aching bones and revel in a huge sense of achievement, enjoying the sunset tinted clouds (at 4.30 p.m.) as we bounce back over a rough gravel road to Lune River (the way up from “rock bottom” tends to be rough at first), before the tar gives us a smoother ride.

Journalling

Journalling is an activity that is readily available to all – even those who have limited literacy skills, as journals do not necessarily have to be about writing (they can be a collection of illustrations such as drawings and/or photographs).

Journalling as a therapeutic tool

Journals can be a way of reflecting and processing the challenges in our lives and a journal can become a constantly available trusted friend that will not judge us, whilst helping us to gain perspective. Through journalling we can make new discoveries about ourselves, walk the paths of healing and give ourselves personal freedom.

Some general guidelines

Choose a time and place where interruptions will be minimal and consider whether or not we want others to read or look at our journalling later. If we wish to keep it private we need to find a safe place to keep it. If we are inclined to journal about our pain and distress we also need to think about how it might impact on us if we re-read this at a later date. Sometimes this kind of writing is better left to the realms of off-load writing, which is destroyed immediately afterwards as we mentally let go of hurt and pain.

Using journals for specific purposes

Whilst journals can be used as daily diaries to record events and feelings, they can also become more targeted to help us record and explore specific areas of our lives.

Some targeted journals may include:

• A gratitude journal – this is simply about finding something each day to be grateful for and recoding it.  A creative way of recoding gratitude is to make gratitude chain. Pre-cut a supply of rectangular paper pieces and, each day, write something to be grateful or thankful for on one piece at a time. Join them together to make a paper chain, adding a new piece of “chain” each day (or triangular pieces could be cut and joined to make bunting).

• A record of achievements – this could include things that were enjoyable, plans and ideas (new thoughts), challenges we came through and things that were self-caring, as well as achievements (to widen out our thinking about achievements)
• A record of creative pursuits – I have a DVD from Quilters Companion that takes viewers through the process of compiling a creative journal that includes pages for creative projects that have been undertaken. The pages include photographs (of both works in progress and finished items), swatches of fabric used (or wool), patterns, and words about the creative journey. The fabric cover is embroidered  and the result is an inspiring and attractive collection of achievements. This could be easily adapted to other creative pursuits.

• A travel diary – I find that keeping records of our travels has allowed me to re-visit interesting and enjoyable times when life is more mundane.
• Scrapbooking family and other events – this can be as simple or as complicated (with decorations) as desired. The creative process itself can be quite therapeutic as photos and embellishments are arranged and words are added in creative ways.
• Daily insights – over time this can lead to a recognition of threads that are occurring in our lives and thus to changes we might contemplate to improve our lives.
• Our dreams and hopes for the future – this can help us to keep hope alive in our life journeys and maybe provide some goals to work towards.

Useful tools and resources

Inside-out: a journalling kit, produced by Innovative Resources is a set of cards that each features a key word, illustrations, a quote about the topic and some prompts in the form of questions, statements or suggestions. It can be purchased by following this link:
http://innovativeresources.org/resources/card-sets/inside-out-2/

Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick, Allen & Unwin, Aust 2007 contains exercises and ideas to inspire more creative journalling, and more information can be found here:
http://www.booktopia.com.au/creative-journal-writing-the-art-and-heart-of-reflection-stephanie-dowrick/prod9781741751376.html

Writing in Bereavement by Jane Moss, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London & Philadelphia, 2012 outlines exercises for groups and individuals, using a variety of genres to help those who are bereaved to voice the changes brought by grief, the unfinished conversations and memories of loved ones, and to provide a respite from sadness. It also has a great chapter on keeping a journal. For more information follow this link:
http://www.booktopia.com.au/writing-in-bereavement-jane-moss/prod9781849052122.html

Journal prompts can be found on this website:
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/09/27/30-journaling-prompts-for-self-reflection-and-self-discovery/

And, of course, many people use blogging as a form of journalling. 

The patchwork of life

Lately I have been immersing myself in creative patchwork, spending lots of time transforming small pieces of fabric into patterns and quilts. The metaphor of patchwork has been applied to life by many people, and I think that this is very apt.

Life is a quilt that is never finished

Unlike intentionally created patchwork quilts, our life quilts are not completed until we die, and then the binding can finally be added. Throughout our lives new patches and decorations are added, and the fabric becomes richer as our life journeys continue onwards.

Ragged edges smooth out when pieces are joined

In a patchwork quilt, as the pieces are joined together, the seams encase the ragged edges and leave a smooth surface on the outside. This can happen in our lives too as new experiences and/ or perspectives add new patches to the raw edges of our lives, smoothing these out and allowing new patterns to emerge from discordant experiences.

Patterns emerge when things are repeated

In quilts, if blocks are repeated, they can form patterns that are not apparent when the blocks are viewed separately. So too, in our lives, patterns begin to emerge as we travel our journeys and begin to connect like experiences together (both good and challenging).

Borrowing on some expertise can help

It is often useful to follow a pattern and to tap into quilting expertise when creating patchwork – some tips and techniques can guide the process and even make construction easier. We can turn to the support and learning of others to guide our life journeys too – and sometimes theories can aid our understanding.

The background

Most patchwork has a background that sets off the applique or decorations, or may form the general pattern of the quilt itself. What are the steady rhythms that make up the backgrounds of our lives? The events which stand out are enhanced by these and would not be the same without the supportive background.

Adding new and interesting patches

Quilts can grow with the addition of borders and/or more rows of patches, and thus change in character. The fabric of our lives can also change direction, sometimes intentionally and sometimes because our assumptive worlds have been shattered – but all of these add to the rich patchwork of our lives.

Some resources

Trish McKinnon, a Social Worker from Sacred Heart Hospice in Sydney presented this diagram on the rich tapestry of life in retrospect (used to guide end of life stories in palliative care):

Innovative Resources have produced “A Patchwork Life” – a set of cards for exploring women’s journeys, designed to inspire storytelling and creativity. The cards use “the metaphor of a patchwork quilt to explore how a person’s identity is made up of unique memories, experiences, dreams and relationships, all sewn together”. They can be obtained by following this link:

http://innovativeresources.org/resources/card-sets/patchwork-life/

Today this blog is celebrating its first birthday – and it has certainly gone in directions that I did not anticipate when I was at the point of new beginnings. It has certainly enriched my life.

Thank you to all the people who have taken the time to dip into it.

Inspiration from nature

I noticed this spider's web on my verandah this morning -- look at the strength of  thin threads of web!

I think we can draw inspiration for our lives from this -- we see it all the time in the things that keep people attached despite adversity.

The big picture:

The threads of web were strong enough to pull the rope from the bell upwards, and some of the lights inwards.

The details:

Basking in the sunlight:

The strength of a colleague:

May you find similar strength in your lives this week.

Most human behaviour is not based on logic

I often had conversations with clients who were perplexed about how someone in their lives could behave the way they were behaving, and we usually ended up reflecting on how human behaviour is rarely based on logic or being rational. They could then stop struggling with trying to make logical sense of something that was not rational.

When Psychology entered the realm of science, thinking became skewed towards believing that human behaviour could be regulated and that causes and effects could be identified. This led to a proliferation of theories, but remember that theories are not facts and are subject to change as new knowledge emerges (and knowledge itself is something that keeps evolving).

A metaphor

If we were to liken human behaviour to a stream of water flowing through an erosion channel, we can see that a smooth pathway is rarely left behind, and we cannot predict ahead exactly what the next flow of water will do to the channel. However erosion channels can be awesome and mesmerising and can hold our attention, as can the struggle to understand some people’s behaviour (and how it impacts on us).

There are examples of different types of erosion channels in the photos accompanying this post.

Theories

Some of the theories that can help us understand illogical human behaviour include:

• Ego defence mechanisms -- things like projection, rationalisation, introjection, denial, intellectualisation etc.

          Here is a good chart that lists the types of defences and gives examples:
          http://wps.prenhall.com/wps/media/objects/5097/5219347/tools/table1-2.pdf

• Power theories -- an interesting article on power can be found on the following link:

          http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.244/pdf

• Political theories -- this relates to ideologies and the distribution of power and resources, as well as government. In reality, politics is rarely based on rational behaviour.

• Emotions -- behaviour resulting from emotions is often not logical. An outline of four theories of emotion can be found here:

          http://webspace.ship.edu/tosato/emotion.htm

• Game playing/ manipulation -- some behaviour is fuelled by tactics that are aimed at controlling others

• Fear and anxiety -- these can cause people to act in ways that are not rational, but this becomes more complicated when the fears and anxieties are not overtly apparent to others. 

• Economic rationalism -- in workplaces, many decisions are made based on cost savings, but this is often covered up with other explanations and, if we try to debate or work with these other explanations, we often get nowhere.

What other theories could be added?

Remember: if the behaviour of others is not based on logic, then we need to try to not take it personally.

In the words of Francisco Manoel da Silva; I can not hear what you are saying, for the thunder that you are.

Email followers please note...

This is a note from Blogger:

In 2011, we announced the retirement of Google Friend Connect for all non-Blogger sites. We made an exception for Blogger to give readers an easy way to follow blogs using a variety of accounts. Yet over time, we’ve seen that most people sign into Friend Connect with a Google Account. So, in an effort to streamline, in the next few weeks we’ll be making some changes that will eventually require readers to have a Google Account to sign into Friend Connect and follow blogs.

As part of this plan, starting the week of January 11, we’ll remove the ability for people with Twitter, Yahoo, Orkut or other OpenId providers to sign in to Google Friend Connect and follow blogs. At the same time, we’ll remove non-Google Account profiles so you may see a decrease in your blog follower count.

We encourage you to tell affected readers (perhaps via a blog post), that if they use a non-Google Account to follow your blog, they need to sign up for a Google Account, and re-follow your blog. With a Google Account, they’ll get blogs added to their Reading List, making it easier for them to see the latest posts and activity of the blogs they follow.

Hope this makes sense to anyone who is affected.