A beautiful lady, who used to attend a Women’s Support Group
that I facilitated, once commented that it would be good to have a jar of
courage on the shelf, which could be dipped into in times of need. Thus we had
a session on making a Courage Jar. This post is dedicated to Kathy (now in
heaven), who faced multiple life challenges with grace and courage, and I still
have the lovely notes of support that she would regularly send me.
What does courage feel like?
We set the scene by pondering on what it feels like to have
courage, and concluded that it often meant standing up for ourselves and/ or
being able to keep going despite the sense of isolation and the challenges.
Sometimes it also means tapping into the energy of anger.
What takes our courage away?
Our courage can be diminished by the law, by dominant,
bullying or arrogant people, by systems that don’t support us, by depression,
by life becoming too difficult and by feeling that our hands are “tied”,
amongst other things.
What helps to give us courage and increase our courage?
Some of the things that can do this include: being independent/
self-reliant, having support from others, knowing that we are not alone (there
are others going through similar challenges), taking actions to keep ourselves
safe, refusing to give in, laughter and humour, telling ourselves that we can
do it/ do it our way, and knowing and using our strengths (like wisdom, cleverness, love, honesty, patience,
reflection, independence, hope, maturity, purpose, carefulness, insight,
assertiveness, encouragement, resilience and confidence).
Assembling the courage jars
We used coloured paper “lolly” shapes to write down personal
sources of courage, with one source on each “lolly”. The ideas already shared
were used as a starting point, and any others could be added, so that each jar
became unique for each person. Re-purposed glass jars were used to store the “lollies”,
and these jars were decorated with stickers, ribbons etc.
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| Template for "lollies" |
Using the courage jars
The jars need to be kept in an easily seen and accessible
place (e.g. on a bedside table to use first thing each morning, or near the
phone if we are receiving difficult phone calls), or they can be moved around
to places they might be needed during the day. When we are feeling down,
depressed or anxious, or needing a boost, we can dip into the jar and choose
one, or a number, of “lollies” to remind us to use courage, remembering that we
have to have the courage to use courage.
Remember: Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions. Will Smith
